Tom's Lawn Bowling 1995

Our lives had taken different paths over the years, but Tom & I tried to stay in touch. In 1995 Tom sent me a copy of this article from the Press-Telegram Long Beach, CA about his participation in a sport he took up – lawn bowling!

Tom doing the tourist thing in his old hometown!

Happy Birthday Lover

Happy Birthday to you...Dear Tom.........I should be cooking and fussing over you right now! You continue to give me gifts instead. I will cherish our time together and perhaps be a bit jealous that you now will be forever young!! Miss you Baby! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

For Good

Because of you, I've been changed for the better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzrGFQysfYU

So many things I wish I would have said.

Debbie

My heart is broken.......

Oh Tom........I am not sure how I can say goodbye to you.....so I choose not to. I have the comfort of knowing our last days together were joyful and we felt deep love for each other. How I wish I could change the events of your life that led you to this painful choice. I am a much better person for knowing you and will never regret loving you unconditionally. Our time together in Monterey was magical..........I was there when you first moved into the "farm" and I was there when you left. A part of my heart will always be in Monterey..........XOXOX

Jim Croce - Tomorrow's Gonna Be A Brighter Day - Digitally Remastered

Jim Croce - Tomorrow's Gonna Be A Brighter Day - Digitally Remastered

The resurrection and the light

Ah, Tom, I wish you'd held on for the first tender shoots of green reaching upward from the warming earth. Today would be a great day to take your bike out for a ride. Hope and the possibility of redemption are so alive in the world at this moment and you are nowhere to be found. I guess all of us who loved you will feel the pain in fresh ways with each new season. I want to hear your Cowardly Lion laugh again.

Words of Comfort

It's been 83 days since my last conversation with my long time friend Tom, and my heart still aches with saddness. I often search for words of comfort during this period of grief. Following is a quote by Tao Te Ching. I thought it made a lot of sense so I would like to share it with you. "Amidst the worldy comings and goings, observe how endings become beginnings." I will be keeping this quote in mind as I desperately search for comfort from this tragic loss.

I miss you......my Valentine!!

My Dear Tom,
I am missing you so much......I have no way to express the emptiness I feel.I long for another chance to show you how much love I have for you. My very special Valentine...you will be alive in my heart forever..............I love you!! XOXOXOX

In Blackwater Woods, by Mary Oliver

Tom loved the poetry of Mary Oliver (Audrey, did you discover her together?) A friend sent me this poem when told of Tom's death:

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.